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Replace fear of the unknown with curiosity.” -Danny Gokey (?)

aprilbuket

Another month has unfolded and about to run out, with hopes of the next one being gentler for sitting tasks and skinny cold fingers. I’m being flooded with opportunities to practice what I spoke of recently, oiling the door between the brain studio and the public lounge out front. Such as unexpected financial changes looming, a little kitty with patella issues, wacky hormones with the accompanying pains and other bodily distractions. All designed to steer my focus away from “the work”; Godzilla anxiety vs. Wonderwoman calm and joy.

I try to make myself tick items off the list a little bit at a time even when I don’t feel like it. Force that bumper car out of the rut and into the correct lane again and again. They say the difference between try and triumph is just a little umph, but sometimes it comes out more of a blop or a klonk, you know?

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Reading “pile” for warming up under blankets (and cats):

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Big loom is all assembled now, 44 extra treadle cords cut, melted and ready, but since I spent a few extra days wrangling 1400 threads back and forth through the reed on the Lervad, there’s no weaving going on. Commencing to thread heddles and hoping the best, at least now they’re only twisted in 3’s instead of 24’s.

This is how a pair of trousers begin their life.

And now that I have my studio with no constraints finally, I do the exact thing I’m not supposed to: thinking about the money. Do not aspire to create for gain, it has to be a secondary motivation or even further down the list or the ideas leave, that is a fact. Thinking my way to job ideas has never worked in the past, but it looks like I could use a small income (heck, I’d settle for a big one too!). Regular readers know what my day and my personality look like, not exactly employee material, right? So what does a chronically tired, non-specialist recluse have to offer the world I wonder? Guess I had hoped for more time to figure that one out.

Did you ever feel that you had a million things going for you, but not any one thing that anybody wants? (Yes, I have had a variety of normal jobs in the past. Going backwards is not an option however)

In the meantime, wacky project ideas keep rolling in, lining up rather patiently I must say despite the odds.🙂 And I must keep plodding on as if the world is still turning.

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